Libby Update

So I just got home from an emotional visit to the doctor's office. I went hoping to hear that I was somewhat dilated or that my chances of a V-BAC were high. Instead, I got the "prepare for a C-Section" information sheet and the doctor told me that my chances of a natural childbirth were about 60 percent. Sixty percent is pretty good, but as soon as the doctor told me that I needed to prepare for the possibility of a C-section I started crying.

I know I sound selfish and melodramatic, but natural childbirth is something I've always wanted to experience. When the doctor started talking about the possibility of a C-section, I felt grief. Childbirth is a rite of womanhood--or at least that's how I see it, and it's not that I frown upon women who choose medication or schedule C-sections, but for me, it's as if I didn't birth the child. With Harrison's C-section I grieved over the way he came into the world and celebrated him simultaneously. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

I guess when it comes down to what's most important, the priority of Libby's health and safety tops my experience in the delivery room, and it's better that I prepare for this now than right before she comes into the world-- whether through the door or the window.