Dazed and Confused

My doctor from last week must have written a note in my file: "Cries at the mention of a C-section."

My doctor this week was a major advocate for V-BAC. He was encouraging and friendly towards the idea. He told me that my chances were good (still 60%) and that Libby was much smaller than Harrison, so the delivery may have a completely different outcome.

For the past few days, I have been trying to come to terms with the possibility of a C-section. So I mentioned the idea of scheduling one next week on the day I turn 40 weeks pregnant. Dr. Mansfield said it was possible, but that I should wait until my appointment next Friday to make my decision. He also scheduled another ultrasound to get more information about Libby's size and weight so that the decision making process is an informed one. Last week they gave me a paper on V-BACs and repeated C-sections that I have to sign by next Friday to let them know I have committed to a decision.

The paper says that V-BAC has less risks than a repeated C-section, but that if I have to have a C-section during labor that is even riskier. So next Friday, if Libby doesn't show up before then, I will have to make the decision of whether I should have them break my water or go in for a C-section. The reason for my title--I have no idea what to do.

Thanks to everyone who has written and has offered their prayers and support. My prayer for right now is that Libby will either come on her own time before next Friday or that the information we get next week will clarify which is the best and safest choice for me and Libby.